I am writing a memoir and am finding it hard to remember the past. Not because I don’t remember (even though I do have to ask to see if I have the details right) but it is hard because it is painful to remember these certain memories. Having to relive memories I would rather forget is painful because it was during a time in my life when I thought what others thought of me meant everything. I hope that by reliving these memories I can forgive myself for being so insecure about myself and maybe in some way if I can get published I can help others to be happy with who they are and not worry about what others think.
Right now, I am in a better place with myself. I do want to change things in my life and about me but this time I want to do for myself and for a healthy reason. I wish I had this outlook way back then I wouldn’t have made as many mistakes as I did and would have been a happier person back then. Well the past is just that the past and I will not ever let myself return to that state of mind.