Reliving the past

I am writing a memoir and am finding it hard to remember the past.  Not because I don’t remember (even though I do have to ask to see if I have the details right) but it is hard because it is painful to remember these certain memories.  Having to relive memories I would rather forget is painful because it was during a time in my life when I thought what others thought of me meant everything.  I hope that by reliving these memories I can forgive myself for being so insecure about myself and maybe in some way if I can get published I can help others to be happy with who they are and not worry about what others think. 

Right now, I am in a better place with myself.  I do want to change things in my life and about me but this time I want to do for myself and for a healthy reason.  I wish I had this outlook way back then I wouldn’t have made as many mistakes as I did and would have been a happier person back then.  Well the past is just that the past and I will not ever let myself return to that state of mind.


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