Loved? What is that?

By the time I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis at the age of 10 I had already been paralyzed on my entire right side, subjected to the side effects of IV steroids and Prednisone, was ridiculed about my weight by a stupid boy and I went blind for a short time.  At that age people are beginning to form their own identities and gaining or losing self-esteem, well I lost my self-esteem with one word, fat.  That boy called me fat and ever since I have been shy always worried about my weight and never sure enough that anyone would like me.

This went on throughout high school and into college.

It is safe to say that I never had a boyfriend had never formed a real relationship with a male.  I am 32 and still am in that same boat and not sure how to get out.  It is frustrating because I don’t get out much due to my lack of vision and mobility and many people see my wheel chair and not the person I am.  Is it really impossible to fall in love when you are not sure what to do to attract a person? 

The only examples I have to go on are my family members who are all married and TV and film.  The only thing I know is that I am lonely and do not wanted to go through life never having been loved.


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